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Every human being thrives on nurture, just as a frail seedling craves sunlight. The sustenance of our emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual needs enables us to blossom into robust, capable humans. What happens when this nurturing is lacking, leaving us parched and stunted? Understanding the reasons and implications of this absence, as well as the pathways to self-care, is critical for living a healthy and productive life.

Nurture refers to the process of caring for and supporting the growth, development, and wellness of someone or something. It entails giving individuals with support, direction, and resources to help them attain their greatest potential and prosper in a variety of areas of life

Dysfunctional family dynamics: Childhood abuse, neglect, or emotional unavailability can leave lasting wounds, making it difficult to trust and accept nurture.

Trauma and chronic stress: Traumatic experiences or long-term stress can drain our emotional reserves, making it difficult to prioritise self-care. Reiki is a wonderful modality that can help release emotional trauma and stress. 

Societal pressures: Our fast-paced, goal-oriented society frequently praises self-sacrifice and busyness, making it easier to overlook our own needs.

Perfectionism and self-criticism: The continuous quest of perfection, along with harsh self-judgment, can lead to feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness of caring.

Issues Caused due to Lack of Nurturing:

Low self-esteem and confidence: Not feeling loved and respected can result in a distorted self-image and crushing self-doubt.

Poor emotional regulation: People who haven’t been emotionally nurtured may struggle to manage their emotions well, resulting to anxiety, sadness, and impulsive behaviour.

Unhealthy relationships: Difficulty trusting and receiving affection can harm both personal and professional relationships.

Physical health issues: Chronic stress and emotional neglect can cause physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, and reduced immunity.

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Understanding Self-Nurturing:

Before we delve into the concept of self-nurturing, let’s take a closer look at what it means and why it is important.

Definition of Self-Nurturing

Self-nurturing refers to practices that enhance personal development and wellbeing. It entails nourishing oneself by positive actions and self-care behaviours that promote emotional, physical, mental and spiritual well-being. Nurturing oneself acknowledges the necessity of meeting our own emotional, psychological, and physical needs. It centres on the idea of nourishing ourselves for inner growth and resilience, recognising the importance of self-nurture in human development and upbringing.

Importance of Self-Nurturing

Self-care is essential for preserving emotional and psychological well-being since it promotes resilience, wellbeing, and overall growth. Practicing self-care improves our mental and emotional health, helping us to face life’s obstacles with grace and fortitude. To read more on caring for your mental health click here. Nurturing our emotional skills, wellbeing, and resilience allows us to genuinely thrive and realise our full potential, particularly for young people who are still developing these skills.

Four Key Aspects of Self-Nurturing:

To unlock our full potential and nurture ourselves, it’s essential to focus on four key aspects of self-nurturing: emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical nurturing.

Emotional Nurturing

Emotional nurturing is developing abilities to care for our emotional well-being, allowing us to weather life’s ups and downs with resilience and self-compassion. Some nurturing practices include:

  • Practicing self-compassion and kindness towards ourselves
  • Surrounding ourselves with positive and supportive influences
  • Engaging in activities that bring us joy and emotional fulfilment
  • Cultivating resilience through emotional self-care practices
  • Embracing mindfulness to nurture emotional well-being

Physical Nurturing

Physical nurturing entails prioritising our physical well-being through nutritious nutrition and self-care. Some nurturing practices include:

  • Regular physical activity to nurture our body and promote vitality
  • Nourishing ourselves with wholesome, nourishing foods
  • Getting adequate rest and prioritizing quality sleep
  • Engaging in activities that contribute to our physical well-being, such as yoga or dancing
  • Practicing gentle nurture of our physical health through self-care routines
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Mental Nurturing

Mental nurturing entails nourishing our minds by challenging negative thinking habits, learning, self-reflection, and good thought patterns. Some nurturing practices include:

  • Stimulating our mind with new learning experiences and challenges
  • Fostering a nurturing approach to our thought patterns and beliefs
  • Engaging in activities that promote mental clarity and focus, such as meditation or journaling
  • Prioritizing mental well-being through nurturing our cognitive abilities
  • Embracing the nurturing power of positive affirmations and self-talk

Spiritual Nurturing

Spiritual nurture entails connecting with something larger than ourselves and discovering meaning and purpose in our life. Some nurturing practices include:

  • Exploring practices that align with our spiritual beliefs and values
  • Creating sacred spaces for contemplation, meditation, or prayer
  • Connecting with nature to nurture our spiritual well-being
  • Cultivating gratitude and mindfulness for spiritual nurturing
  • Seeking out nurturing influences that speak to our spiritual growth
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Effects of Neglecting Self-Nurturing:

Neglecting self-nurturing can have far-reaching effects on our overall wellbeing. Let’s explore the psychological and physical consequences of neglecting self-nurturing.

Psychological Impact

Neglecting self-care can lead to increased stress, worry, and emotional distress. It can reduce our emotional resilience, making us more sensitive to life’s adversities. The absence of nurturing practices can result in emotional burnout, weariness, and diminished well-being. Neglecting to nurture our emotional needs puts our mental and emotional wellness at danger.

Physical Health

The lack of nurturing practices can also have physical health consequences, such as increased stress, fatigue, and weakened immune function. Neglecting self-care may lead to physical illnesses and a worse overall sense of well-being. Nurturing our physical health allows us to enjoy vitality, energy, and the ability to actively participate in life.

Strategies to learn to Nurture Yourself:

Seek professional help: Therapy can provide a secure environment in which to process previous trauma and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

Create a supportive network: Surround yourself with individuals that make you feel good about yourself and show you unconditional love and acceptance.

Practice self-care rituals: Create regular habits that prioritise your health, such as taking a lengthy bath, meditation, mindfulness, reading before bed, or spending time outdoors. We discusses how meditation can aid better sleep in this article. 

Establish healthy boundaries: Learn to say no to demands that drain your energy and instead prioritise things that replenish you.

Forgive yourself and others: Holding grudges only harms you. Forgiveness can help you let go of negativity and embrace self-compassion.

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Mindfulness and Self-Nurturing:

Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It’s about observing your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations with curiosity and acceptance. This gentle awareness becomes the foundation for self-nurturing in several ways:

Mindfulness increases self-awareness: allowing you to perceive your patterns and needs more clearly. By monitoring your internal environment, you might discover what nourishes you and what depletes your energy. This awareness enables you to make decisions that align with your well-being.

Emotional Regulation: Difficult emotions can be overwhelming, resulting in harmful coping techniques. Mindfulness provides you with tools for navigating difficult emotions. By watching your emotions without judgement, you can allow them to pass through you without being swept away.

Increased Gratitude: Mindfulness encourages appreciation for the current moment, no matter how boring it may appear. Taking thoughtful breaths, indulging in a beautiful meal, or simply appreciating the beauty of a dawn – these seemingly insignificant acts can elicit profound gratitude, nurturing your spirit and cultivating inner peace.

Self-Compassion: Frequently, we are our harshest critics. Mindfulness encourages you to treat yourself with respect and compassion. By witnessing your self-critical thoughts without judgement, you can gradually replace them with gentle acceptance and compassion, boosting your self-esteem and inner strength.


In conclusion, nurturing yourself is a vital aspect of personal growth and unlocking your full potential. It involves taking care of your emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. Remember that nurturing oneself is not a luxury; it is a necessity. Understanding the causes and effects of its absence, as well as actively participating in its four major elements, allows us to close the gaps, grow inner strength, and blossom into the people we were born to be. This investment in ourselves is not just beneficial to our own health; it also has a positive impact on relationships, communities, and, eventually, the globe.

Start embracing self-nurturing today and embark on a transformative journey of personal growth and fulfillment.


Through various mindfulness practices, like meditation, yoga, or simply focusing on your breath, you train your attention to be more present.

This heightened consciousness permeates all facets of your existence, enabling you to become increasingly cognizant of:

Your thoughts: Without becoming sucked into them, you begin to watch your ideas and mental patterns. This enables you to identify automatic behaviours, negative self-talk, and repeating patterns.

Your emotions: As your emotions surface, you become more aware of them and the physical symptoms and triggers that go along with them. This aids in better understanding your emotional terrain and reaction control.

Your behaviours: You start to become more conscious of what you do and why you do it. Being self-aware enables you to make deliberate decisions as opposed to acting

Setting healthy boundaries is an important practice for personal well-being and healthy relationships. It enables you to prioritise your needs, maintain emotional equilibrium, and establish trust with others. Here are some important steps to get you started:

1. Determine your needs and values. Reflect on what’s essential to you in numerous areas of life (job, relationships, personal time, etc.). What makes you happy, fulfilled, and at peace? Recognising your basic beliefs helps you understand what boundaries may be required to maintain them.

2. Begin small: Having too many restrictions at once might be daunting. Select one or two situations that are currently draining your energy or causing discomfort. For example, you may answer work emails late into the evening or feel pushed to attend social events.

3. Communicate your boundaries clearly and directly. To avoid seeming accusatory, utilise “I” phrases. 

Instead of saying, “You constantly call me late,” say, “I become agitated when I receive calls after 8 p.m. Could we communicate earlier in the day?”

Be explicit about your wants and needs.

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Meghana Millin
Mindfulness teacher & Reiki Master
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